A mother's day

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The millions of flowers, cards and phone calls shared today say it all: Motherhood is honored, cherished and respected across the nation. Mothers, for the most part, will accept these tokens with smiles, laughs and even tears of joy.

But if the new crop of mothers is any indication, many American mothers are in the mood for something a little more long-lasting than a bouquet of flowers.

Roses are sweet, they say, but public respect for being a stay-at-home mom would be even sweeter. Loving phone calls are great, but job offers to work part-time at home when the kids are still infants would also be appreciated.

The importance of mothers and mothering are still underestimated in American culture, said Judith Stadtman Tucker, founder of the 1-year-old Mothers Movement Online.

"Americans are deeply enamored of the notions of independence and self-sufficiency. We raise our children to be honest, respectful and productive, but our principal obsession is to raise our children to become independent," Mrs. Tucker said.

There's just one "catch" in this scenario, she said, which is that "even the most strident self-made man or woman requires a prolonged duration of constant, attentive care at the beginning -- and usually at the end -- of life."

All human lives have periods of total dependence, interdependence and independence, she added. This means our society should value the work of caregiving at least as much as independence.

While it's true many Americans will lovingly recognize their mothers and their years of dedicated caregiving today, there seems to be a small cloud on the horizon for American motherhood.

For the past decade, between 18 percent and 19 percent of American women have reached the end of their fertility cycles without becoming a mother.

This is nearly double of what it was in the 1970s and early 1980s, when only about 10 percent of women were still childless by their mid-40s.