The Washington Times
  • Subscribe
  • Times News Services
  • RSS
  • Mobile Headlines
  • e-edition
  • E-MAIL ALERTS
  • REGISTER
  • LOG IN
  • E-MAIL ALERTS
  • WELCOME
  • Your Profile
  • Log Out
  • Front Page Image
  • Classifieds
  • Autos
  • Real Estate
  • Jobs
  • Special Sections
  • Customer Service
  • Home
  • News
  • Opinion
  • Sports
    • NFL
    • NBA/WNBA
    • MLB
    • NHL
    • Tennis
    • Golf
    • Motorsports
    • Soccer
    • NCAA
    • Olympics
    • Outdoors
    • Other
  • Culture
    • Home & Living
    • Family & Kids
    • Fashion
    • Food
    • Travel
    • Health
    • Washington Visitors
    • Books
    • Military History
    • Life
    • Auto
    • TV Listings
    • Movie Listings
    • Death Notices
    • Entertainment
  • Themes
  • Communities
  • Marketplace
    • Autos
    • Jobs
    • Real Estate
    • Classifieds
    • Shopping
    • Dining Out
    • Education
    • TWT Store
  • Videos
    • Two Guys
    • Birnbaum on Washington
    • Liz Glover
    • Amanda Carpenter
    • Morning Briefing
    • Documentaries
    • Joe Giganti
    • Video Game Minute
  • Podcasts
    • About Headlines
    • Audio and Radio
    • America's Morning News
  • NFL

    Same old problems plague Redskins

  • Politics

    Obama: It's Senate's turn on health care

  • Security

    Army chief wary of backlash against Muslim soldiers

  • Sports

    Offense erupts in Caps' victory

  • National

    KUHNHENN: 10% jobless rate is Obama's troubling world

  • World

    Joint forces probe NATO air strike

  • National

    Fla. shooting suspect 'mentally ill'

Saturday, April 29, 2006

The adult delights of a dork and his coming of age

Rate this story

Average 0.00
after 0 votes
Login or register to rate this story

  • Font Size -+
  • Print
  • Email
  • Comment
  • Tweet this!
  • Share
  • Article
  • Comments ()
  • Click-2-Listen
  • Videos

More Stories

  • Abortion takes driver's seat in debate
  • School lunch risk eyed after E. coli outbreak
  • Same old problems plague Redskins
  • Obama: It's Senate's turn on health care

By

KING DORK

By Frank Portman

Delacorte Press, $16.95, 344 pages

REVIEWED BY CLIVE DAVIS

"Young adult fiction" is an awkward concept. After all, would publishers ever think of advertising their wares as "old fiction" or "middle-aged-but-still-energetic fiction?" Even though we live in a world devoted to the cult of youth, some of us cling to the old-fashioned notion that you are either an adult or you are not, and that those over 21 should not read Harry Potter on the subway.

Which is a way of saying that I am not entirely sure Frank Portman's publishers are doing him a favor by launching his debut novel into the niche upward market. For one thing, it would take a singularly precocious 15-year-old to come to grips with the complexity of the narrative. (The sexual encounters are also a long way from Nancy Drew.) More importantly, this is a book which -- like one of its inspirations, "The Catcher In The Rye" -- deserves to be read by real grown-ups, too.

For those of you who are not devotees of punk rock, Frank Portman is the fortysomething lead singer of the cult East Bay band called the Mr. T Experience (otherwise known as MTX). No, I don't care for punk either, but I am a fan of blogging, which is how I first became acquainted with Mr. Portman, who runs his own site under the title Dr. Frank's What's-It. (Try Googling "Dr. Frank," and you will see that he comes up ahead of any of your fancy shrinks, plastic surgeons and think tank gurus.) Although he lives in the heart of blue-state-land, he is one of those September 11 Democrats who is still wondering when a large part of the left is going to come to its senses.

While he does not leap onto a soap box in the middle of "King Dork," there is no mistaking the slightly unconventional tilt to his story-telling. Part mystery tale, part rite-of-passage novel, "King Dork" casts an unusually skeptical eye on the values of trendy, middle-class America. Mr. Portman's main character, a gifted but classically shy and retiring high school student, Tom Henderson, cannot help spending much of his time rebelling against the Sixties-style philosophy of his hippie-ish mother, a widow, and her well-meaning but undeniably wet "partner." Like most of his peers, Tom may be stumbling through the fog of adolescence, but he has very clear ideas about the kind of person he does not want to grow up to become.

Trying to summarize the plot is no easy matter. Having been told that his real father was killed in a road accident several years earlier, Tom stumbles across traces of an alternative explanation when he discovers a cache of Henderson Sr.'s old books in the basement. Chief among them is a worn copy of "The Catcher In The Rye," a novel that serves as holy writ for Tom's teachers as well as the adult world in general.

When he notices curious phrases written in the margins, Tom embarks on a tortuous quest involving codes, Biblical quotations, Catholic symbolism and, ultimately, the realization that his father's demise may not have been an accident after all.

At times the intrigue is as multi-layered as a junior version of "The Name of the Rose." The narrative may build slowly in the first eighty pages or so, but Mr. Portman has an assured touch when it comes to depicting schoolyard rituals, brilliantly capturing the blurred randomness of teen life.

There is a matter-of-factness to the business of romance that some will find shocking. It is a world where sensible, middle-class girls know all there is to know about oral sex, and where boys alternately throb with desire and launch into sustained bouts of bullying. As an advertisement for the public school system, it leaves something to be desired.

Tom is a hugely likeable observer, his often self-consciously ornate language fueled by regular encounters with a primer entitled "30 Days to a More Powerful Vocabulary." A rock buff, he has his own band, the name of which seems to change every week. (My favorites are The Stoned Marmadukes and Tennis With Guitars.) Much of his energy goes into devising album titles straight out of Spinal Tap.

Yet he has a spiritual dimension, too: "I'm not any religion myself, but for the record, I'm pretty sure I do believe in God. It's just a feeling I have. I can't prove it, but since when are you supposed to prove a feeling? God is the only situation where they expect you to do that. (Though I have to say, the universe seems so flawlessly designed to be at my expense that I doubt it could be entirely accidental.) Even if I didn't believe in God, though, I'd probably say I did just out of spite. To irritate people like my mom who think believing in God is tacky and beneath them."

Mr. Portman juggles the romantic sub-plot with enormous skill, and his dry sense of humor is a delight. Some of the quirkiest lines are reserved for the playful glossary at the end. Entries range from "atheism" ("a religion for people who figure they probably already know everything there is to know about everything") to the Vietnam War ("for The Most Annoying Generation, the most fascinating and important topic in the world. For everybody else, not.") That kind of wit is definitely too good to be wasted on adults of tender years.

Clive Davis writes for the London Times. His weblog is at www.clivedavis-online.com.

Post a comment

There are comments on this article, submit your opinion!

Commenting is disabled for this entry.
If you feel there is still something worth mentioning about this entry please contact the author or the site admin.

Ask a Question

You Report

Do you have another point of view, photos, audio, video or more information about a story?

Top Stories

Most Read

  1. EXCLUSIVE: Rare virus poses new threat to troops
  2. Sniper's ex-wife speaks out on abuse
  3. Parents buying homes for kids at college
  4. PRUDEN: Corpse sits up, gets nice salute
  5. Inside the Beltway
More Top Stories »
  1. EDITORIAL: Too scared to recognize terrorism
  2. Armored troop carriers called unsafe for duty
  3. 13 killed at Texas army base; psychiatrist accused
  4. House OKs health reform bill
  5. Aborted fetus cells used in beauty creams

Most Shared

  1. Parents buying homes for kids at college
  2. EXCLUSIVE: Rare virus poses new threat to troops
  3. EDITORIAL: Too scared to recognize terrorism
  4. Sunshine vitamin stirs new debate
  5. Obama's unlearned lesson
More Top Stories »
  1. NSA surveillance -- of you?
  2. Aborted fetus cells used in beauty creams
  3. PRUDEN: Corpse sits up, gets nice salute
  4. EDITORIAL: The negative Obama factor
  5. Looking to 2010, GOP focuses on fiscal restraint

Most Commented

  1. House OKs health reform bill
  2. EDITORIAL: Too scared to recognize terrorism
  3. Furious scramble for health reform support
  4. Muslims stunned by Fort Hood shooting
  5. 'Gentle' Army psychiatrist displayed worrisome signs
More Top Stories »
  1. Obama praises those who ended Fort Hood violence
  2. Army chief wary of backlash against Muslim soldiers
  3. Making fun of faith
  4. EXCLUSIVE: Rare virus poses new threat to troops
  5. Israelis unsure of U.S. support

Listen to Washington Times Radio

  • America's Morning News

    with John McCaslin and Melanie Morgan

Blogs & Columns

  • POTUS Notes

    New Dem talking point on Obama approval doesn't wash

  • The Back Story

    12 arrested at Pelosi's office

  • Belief Blog

    Washington goes Greek this week

  • Out of Context

    Foods that might kill libido

  • Technology

    Facebook wins round against phishing spammer

  • On the Fly

    United lifts some 'award' blocking

  • Redskins 360

    Samuels feeling better, hopeful

  • Tara's Two Cents

    On their way to summer vacation..

  • SNOBlog

    Beyond 'Woody'

Videos

Advertising Links
TWT Store
  • e-edition
  • Print Edition
  • Weekly Washington Times
TWT Affiliates
  • Middle East Times
  • Golf
  • UPI
  • Arbor Ballroom
  • Washington Times Global
  • About TWT
  • Press Room
  • F.A.Q.
  • Work for TWT
  • Advertise
  • Sponsors
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Site Map

All site contents © Copyright 2009 The Washington Times, LLC.