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Oh, the "Horror"

Showtime's "Masters of Horror" anthology series purports to let horror's brightest stars scare us anew.

The fact is, the horror genre has precious few stars in its galaxy.

The series' second season premiere, alas, is a case in point.

Tobe Hooper, whose "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" created the template for modern slasher films, gives us a tale as incoherent as something lensed by a hack weaned on "Munsters" reruns. His mini-movie, "The Damned Thing," kicks off the anthology series tonight, to be followed in weeks to come by offerings from horror contemporaries like Stuart Gordon ("Re-Animator"), Joe Dante ("Gremlins") and Tom Holland ("Fright Night").

The episode (airing tonight at 10) concerns a boy who, minutes after watching his dad kill his mother, is turned inside out — literally — by some unseen force.

That boy becomes his hometown sheriff (Sean Patrick Flanery, who matured from "Young Indiana Jones" to become Michael Madsen 2.0). But the murders still haunt him... and they may not be over. The town is in the grip of an undisclosed mania, the source of which is awkwardly revealed in the fading moments.

Mr. Hooper's camera work is as frenzied as that of any neophyte, and the installment is a frightless way to start the new season.

Next week's episode, "The Family," fares better. It begins with a jarring set piece as good as anything you'll find at the movies. We're soon breaking bread with an avuncular neighbor ("Cheers' " George Wendt) who has ghastly designs on the newlyweds next door. "An American Werewolf in London's" John Landis directs.

What "Horror" may do best is serve as a cudgel against conservative viewers. Last season, an army of undead soldiers rose from their grave in "Homecoming" to vote out the president who sent them to war in a veil-free swipe at President George W. Bush. This season's first episodes feature a serial killer with a weakness for Vice President Dick Cheney and casts Big Oil in an unflattering light.