Negotiating life's challenges, perils

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In a sunny afternoon, Tom Wood and his daughter decide to walk to the zoo to meet friends. When his daughter decides she wants to push her new stroller to the zoo, it takes twice the amount of time to get there.

In this hypothetical example, Mr. Wood, president of Watershed Associates Inc., a firm in Northwest offering training in negotiation, says he could impose his power as an adult and say "No," or he could negotiate with the girl and avoid a temper tantrum. Negotiating, if done properly, would surely take less time than withstanding a temper tantrum.

"I could ask open-ended questions," Mr. Wood says. " 'Why do you want to take your stroller to the zoo?' The answer: to show her cousin her new stroller. Good negotiators always focus on interests, not demands."

Basic negotiation skills can help people in almost any conflict. Negotiation doesn't just happen in conference rooms. Everyday conversations are filled with negotiations like where to eat, where to take a vacation and what kind of car to buy.

"The principles apply across the board," Mr. Wood says. "It's always about the process and the people -- following the process with discipline and engaging people respectfully."

When negotiating, people extend the most consideration to those they respect and trust, Mr. Wood says.

Watershed Associates is a training and consulting firm that focuses on business negotiations, delivering workshops in more than 30 countries to business and government audiences, including Global 1,000 companies.

Although two large companies may work together, the people in the companies make the deals, Mr. Wood says.

For instance, when former President Jimmy Carter led the 1978 Camp David peace talks, Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat could not agree.

After the first three days of the talks, Mr. Sadat threatened to leave, Mr. Wood says. After Mr. Carter prayed and asked God to help him, he confronted Mr. Sadat and said it would be a personal betrayal if the leader left.