Inside the Beltway

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By John McCaslin

"When there is a fire in your kitchen threatening to burn down your home, you don't want someone stopping the firefighters on the way and demanding they hand out smoke detectors first or lecturing you about the hazards of keeping paint in the basement. You want them to put out the fire before it burns down your home and everything you have saved for your whole life."

-Sen. Mitch McConnell, Kentucky Republican, addressing the current economic crisis and why Congress must take immediate action to try to head off a serious blow to Main Street and this columnist's 401(k).

ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL?

Portion of the laws passed by the current Congress that have involved the renaming of post offices: 1/4

-Harper's Index, October 2008

KUDOS NOR HOLIDAYS

Members of the U.S. Senate and their staffs are told of rules and policies, some new and effective immediately, surrounding the use of the U.S. Senate Internet Service, including Web sites, electronic mail, blogs, podcasting and streaming media.

Be advised, ladies and gentlemen:

1. "Matter which constitutes or includes any article, account, sketch, narration or other text laudatory and complimentary of any senator on a purely personal or political basis rather than on the basis of performance of official duties as a senator is prohibited."

2. "Reports of how or when a senator, the senator's spouse or any other member of the senator's family spends time other than in the performance of, or in connection with, the legislative, representative and other official functions of such senator is prohibited."

3. "Any transmission expressing holiday greetings from a senator is prohibited. This prohibition does not preclude an expression of holiday greetings at the commencement or conclusion of an otherwise proper transmission."

MOOSEHEAD CHASER

Wait until you get a load of the "Saratini" concoction that Republican activist LaDonna Hale Curzon is urging fellow female supporters of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin ("Team Sarah," the ladies call themselves) to serve at local debate-watch parties on Oct. 2, when the Republican vice-presidential nominee goes face to face against Democratic Sen. Joseph R. Biden Jr. of Delaware.

Mix 1 ounce of Glacier Bay vodka (in honor of Alaska) with 2 ounces of champagne (in honor of her classiness).

Add a few drops of lipstick-red cranberry juice (in honor of the Red States and lipstick).

Shake and pour into a martini glass. Garnish with a silver bullet (in honor of her lifetime NRA membership).

Stir with a miniature plastic hockey stick swizzler (in honor of her "hockey mom" status).

Chase with a Moosehead beer (in honor of her moose-hunting abilities).

• John McCaslin can be reached at 202/636-3284 or Jim Mccaslin.