Our fatherhood crisis

As Obama said "Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father." How true. Being a father is a job, a great job. there is a related post at http://iamsoannoyed.com/?p=1878

Mr. Obama writes, "We need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one." So, fatherhood begins at conception?? Is this the same conception where a baby's human rights begin? Is this when the Messiah says that human life begins? And yet, the Messiah supports the Freedom of Choice Act. He supports the use of government force to require doctors to kill babies even when it violates their consciences. Change (what) You Can Believe In.

There is no substitute for responsible sociological research when it comes to trying to generalize about some social problem.In the age of feminism, women have been unduly uncriticised in the realm of custody battles.and the reasons males leave them.

All this is reason for MARRIAGE -- it is not enough for the dad to provide a little money and a little time. A child needs a dad's presence more than presents!! And, MOST of the child abuse comes from a mother's boyfriend. All the sleeping around is hazardous for children - not just their health and well-being, but their very survival.

So should we step up and be fathers, or just abort the kids? Obama seems to support both.

It's nice that on Fathers Day, Obama has categorized ALL fathers as dead beat dads. Not a single positive word. Just like his D-Day speech, in front of the survivors, an "improbable" victory? Obama is attempting to dismantle our sovereignty through turning his back on the things that have made this country what we are and that includes the non deadbeat dads.

Finally here's research which supports what so many hard working, loving fathers like myself already know. I don't see the point in making this a political football about when life begins. What I do know is there is much more needs to be said about how so many fathers are being blocked from our kids by spiteful mothers and biased family courts. This is not just about low income dads. I'm in the top percentile of income earners in the country and still have been treated as an intruder into my son;s life by a corrupt family court system. C;mon America, it;s our children who are loosing out the most!!!

This article is offensive. I cant believe it was written or published! The WRITER missed Obamas point which is why he's not the one in the White House. I've got 1st hand experience in the dead beat parent arena. There are many men that whine false parental alienation to evade child support or take children from their mothers too! I've heard it all after sitting through countless court cases. I have witnessed enough to say EVERY parent has options legally & can change their circumstances. The bottom line, I have met thousands of women & children (a few men too) struggling to survive and heartbroken because their kids have to live without dads/moms in below standards or in unecessary drama! There are always 2 sides to every story as we all know! Obama grew up fatherless, therefore he is referring to fathers who CHOOSE to be deadbeats without any moral regard for the disgusting destruction they leave behind. I have a deadbeat dad who falsley claimed I was an alienator when he was cornered for support by the DA. Our kids lived in hell as a result. Lucky for us, we had great support! I learned you cant force anyone to do the right thing or force someone to love their child, support them. I'm happy I have wonderful kids that are great despite their dads actions. That's my payoff. Their dad claims to have been homeless & jobless for 6 years....meanwhile he's making 60-90G a year working under the table for his wifes business. His wife answers garnishment inquiries as her husband making 0.00 every year and the court does nothing. They both live in a PO box in CA so they cant find them. The DA wont do anything because they dont persue evaders that earn under the table. With or without a job, I have the kids 100% of the time and I dont get reductions or financial breaks because kids have needs 24/7 that have to be met no excuses. I make up for that a some point without help. I go without a lot to make sure I meet my responsibilities. There's always a way for every person to own up to supporting their kids. So, when I hear people whine about being shut out of their kids lives, I have to ask why that happened. I know exactly what options these people have and I'm sorry for those who struggle with the system which is lousy at best. At the end of the day, the kids suffer. Yet no parent in some cases is unavoidable and in some cases maybe safer for some children. No child should be subjected to violence, drugs or worse. Who knows what circumstances are behind parents that claim alienation. I have learned not to judge w/out all the facts after what I expereinced and learned. I think the POINT IN OBAMAS case is that parents need to get their acts together for their kids and be responsible adults for the sake of their children! If someone doesnt want to be a parent, then they also have the option to keep their zippers up and find other alternatives for sex ! We ALL have and make choices in these situations.

This is a long overdue article. Our Fatherhood crisis is a modern-day phenomenon that has at its roots: 1) No Fault Divorce Legislation which resulted in 50% of marriages ending in divorce (as opposed to 7-8% prior), and which has resulted in 70% of all divorces being filed by the mother. (forcefully removing fathers from the family). 2) Child Support Laws, while being important, creating financial incentives for divorce/out-of-wedlock births. History has shown us that if you financially incentivize something, people do it. 3) Sexual Revolution and Associated Cultural/Legal changes (decriminalization of adultery, no-fault-alimony where an adulterer can get paid for breaking his/her family, etc). The US Government, both at Federal and State levels, must realize that this is a crisis of its own making. Simply wagging your finger at men, or giving even more tyrannical powers to the family courts / divorce industrial complex, isn't going to fix the problem. The underlying misguided laws/incentives must be addressed first.

After waging a war on fathers for 30 years, our society has found the ideal scape-goat: fathers! Talk about blaming the victim! Really? If women initiate over 80% of divorces in marriages with children, or decide to become single-moms, who is to blame? The man, of course, even though he had no choice but to see his wife divorce him and hit the road with the kids, or the single man who had no choice in whether a woman will carry out a pregnancy to term (her body, her choice, but HIS responsibility). The overwhelming majority of fatherless children are so entirely because of WOMEN's CHOICES! The choice to divorce, or the choice to have unprotected sex before marriage and carry the pregnancy to term. And why wouldn't they make those choices when the government provides a juicy array of incentives for them? Marriage has become a legal contract wherein a woman can take the house, the kids, the savings and the future income of the husbands, whenever she wishes, without any reason, and with the full assistance of the law. The rewards of divorce are so great, that it simply makes financial sense for women to discard hubby. So why not? As for single-motherhood, it is encouraged by an endless array of welfare and benefits. Why would a woman want to get married when she receives more welfare as a single-mom? Not to mention child support. The most profitable behavior for women is to have babies by multiple partners and collect multiple child support checks plus welfare. Not surprisingly, this is exactly the behavior that is a growing trend in the US. The crisis that we observe is a direct consequence of our welfare / child support system. Millions of children are growing without fathers and this will cause major social trouble down the road (many social studies have found an alarmingly strong link between fatherless kids and a various array of pathological behaviors like suicide, drugs, crime... - and this link is not related to the financial standing of the family)

With the exception of the few legitimate deadbeat dads, men wish to be more involved than they are. There is a clear bias in family courts to place children with the mother as long as she can fog a mirror, and many women deny men visitation. To perpetually take her to court to ensure enforcement is financially ruinous, and men are typically asked to foot the court expenses even where the mother is the obstacle. Women are only too happy to throw a content and supportive husband under the bus because he fails to excite her passions after years of marriage, or is boring. Women disproportionately seek divorce, and upon divorce men almost always fade to insignificance. Worse, women now have the attitude that they don't need a man, and single motherhood is rampant. What matters is that children need a father, but we've forgotten that female happiness is not the main goal behind marriage and family. The children's happiness is. Just because your partner bores you is no justification to deprive your children of their father. We need to get away from this attitude that marriage is supposed to be about happiness and personal fulfillment or we'll never salvage the institution.

Barry Hussein O'Bama, you are now the president, you no longer have to fear Michelle. Oh Wait. What if she files a restraining order on you will you have to leave the White House. How will it look when you pick your kids up at the Jefferson Memorial if she lets you see them at all. Imagine all the women programs you have set up that are going to work against you now. Remember it is your duty to suck it up and be there for your kids eventhou the whole country will look at you as a deadbeat. Don't blame Michelle, this is what your government has created, and even as President you are powerless against it.

I have to agree with this article. If a woman wants to force a father out of their children's life after divorce, she can do it with no repercussions. My ex wife has every excuse in the book why I can't see them on the appointed days. I love my kids and miss them, but I have no money to fight her in court over this. If I am one day late on my child support payments and all the other things I pay for the kids, she is on the phone calling me a deadbeat, even though what I give her adds up to over 1/2 my net wages and has allowed her not to work full time for over 8 years. She sees my contribution as a wallet, not as a father. This whole system stinks. Quit blaming the dads Obama, there are millions of us that want to be in our kids lives more, and pay every cent we can. But if the mother likes to play games, we and our kids lose out, and the dads are the ones blamed for not being around. It stinks.

Obama must be getting all his information from Joe Biden. For the life of me I cannot understand how he can at this point in time be so naieve! Sure the conversation about fathers may have begun but on the other hand is it just more pillaging, as has been the deadbeat dad thing. Government need to first examine itself for its culpability in fatherlessness. There is an ocean to account for. A previous person mentioned welfare. I beleive the deadbeat thing was created because of government DENIAL. It had been already blamed for the proliferation of babymaking and also the lack of fathers. Fathers had to leave then or lose their welfare check. Now its state sponsred extortion of fathers and commodification of the child to get the federal kickback. If the gov just told people: " look if you come to us we are going to offer that child to its other parent 50% of the time a whole lot would change! Get your head out of the sand Obama. You didnt speak to my problems on the 100th anniversary of Fathers Day. Your folks helped see that I was run off.

notallme2005, do you realize that obama's saying that a "father's responsibilities" don't end at conception, clearly implies that "life" begins at conception! how stupid are you, anyway? If a woman's parental choice is protected by the full force of law, why don't men have any choice? nobody says the woman's choice ended when she had sex (and I mean, NOBODY--even pro-lifers empahsize adoption as an option) but I can't opt out of parenthood when i'm lied to about the imaginary birthcontrol the crazy girl i had sex with said she was on--huh? this makes some sense, really? I can't give the child up for adoption to her crazy mother and let her deal with HER choices? huh? because young men try to get laid, yes they do, that's a fact--and it SHOULD ruin their lives if they happen to get a girl preganant, but roe v. wade insures that no pregnancy will ever ruin the lives of a woman. nope. that all makes perfect sense. somebody kill me already. the world is too stupid to bear.