This urgent item just crossed the desk: The Detroit-Brooklyn playoff series is under way in the Eastern Conference.
The alert is necessary, considering the all-prevailing focus on the Los Angeles-San Antonio series.
The Nets have worn out their welcome in both New Jersey and with the NBA intelligentsia.
This is not entirely a reflection on Jason Kidd, a gifted point guard who has all the personality of a cardboard box. He talks as if he is reading from a crib sheet stuffed with time-worn inanities.
In public, Kidd dances between one game at a time and staying focused. In private, Kidd is said to have more color. That, of course, is between Kidd and Byron Scott.
The Nets were previously loveable underdogs. Now they are just tired.
Did you watch Game1, the Pistons 78, Nets 56?
If so, your autographed basketball from David Stern is in the mail.
Have you ever seen a more compelling reason for two teams to just call it off and go home for the summer?
That was a gruesome exhibition of basketball, not hardly the result of impeccable defense, as the participants sought to claim.
Good defense is usually the first refuge of those seeking to justify their deficiencies.
The Nets shot 27.1 percent in finishing with 19 field goals. They exploded for 31 points in the second half after being held to 25 points in the first half.
This is sleep-inducing material, starting with the funny-looking guy in charge of the Nets, whatever his name is.
In defense of the funny-looking guy with the Nets, the Zen master offers a striking contrast.
Is there anyone else out there who thinks the Zen master is starting to look more and more like Col. Sanders as he ages? All he needs is a white suit and a bucket of fried chicken to complete the look.
It is funny how this sleep thing works.
America has fallen asleep on the Eastern Conference, and the Zen master fell asleep on his team in Game1.
The Zen master either is not as sharp as he used to be or he is pathologically opposed to calling a timeout as the opposition goes on a 40-0 run.
Seriously, what is the carryover rule with timeouts in the NBA?
Perhaps the Zen master is planning to save all his timeouts for Game7, assuming there is a Game7.
Who knows with the Zen master, except you fully expect him to say it was finger-licking good after one of the games.
He already has picked on the city of San Antonio, not finding it big league enough. The charge works equally well with the contingents of the Eastern Conference.
The Pacers are perhaps the most suspect 61-win team in the history of the NBA. They cannot get a mention beyond Indianapolis after finishing with the best record in the NBA.
The lack of an identity extends to the rest of the playoff participants east of the Mississippi River, with the Bobcats not expected to help.
The teams in the East have come to be a kind of bad infomercial, and they have the modest television ratings to confirm it.
These teams might as well be the get-rich-quick guy who is willing to reveal how he became a multimillionaire by working only one hour a week. The cost of his video and pamphlet is only $19.95.
What does it say about a conference whose two leading figures are Larry Brown and Rick Carlisle, a pair of coaches? Or that the most intriguing element is whether Rasheed Wallace can get through the playoffs without being pulled over by a police officer who notices clouds of smoke rushing out of the front seat of his vehicle?
Other than the Pistons and Nets, the question of who is left in the conference is a subject that merits exhaustive research.
Just guessing, but it probably does not involve the Wizards. Or the Bobcats, either Charlotte or New Orleans.
The Wizards are like cicadas. They come out only once every 17 years.
It could help the Wizards being part of the worst division in sports history next season, lumped with the Hawks, Bobcats, Magic and Heat in the Southeast Division.
This is the first-ever sports division to deserve a warning label.
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