Cruise era begins with tough loss

As the newly appointed head cheerleader of the Redskins, the survivor of “All the Right Moves” sitting in the owner’s box was mostly subdued and almost a model of sober-minded adulthood, aside from his marathon hand-holding session with Katie Holmes.

Tom Cruise possibly earned a notation in the Guinness World Records in the hand-holding category, so unyielding it was.

Yet the right hand attached to Cruise showed no weariness, and he expressed few reactions to the lackluster proceedings on the field, at least none ESPN caught on camera.

Cruise could not save the night, alas, as the Redskins fell to the Love Boaters 19-16.

A different outcome might have inspired Cruise to reprise his couch-jumping meltdown on “Oprah.”

That was the hope anyway, as ESPN repeatedly flashed to Cruise throughout the game.

Implicit in the shots was this: Could he motivate the Redskins to play between 110 and 120 percent? And if so, would he then resort to his bag of creative tricks and do something truly memorable and utterly counterproductive to his sagging career?

Regrettably, Cruise did not seize the moment, not unlike the Redskins.

It remains the hope of the team’s faithful that his addition to the organization will lead to results on the field.

Cruise’s football background is well-documented, stemming from his part as the height-challenged player in “All the Right Moves.”

As the football equivalent of baseball’s Eddie Gaedel, Cruise’s character leads the team to many tough victories and wins a lawsuit against Randy Newman, of “Short People” fame.

There was this one positively wonderful synergetic moment in the Redskins-Love Boaters game, when the NFL, Hollywood, Disney, ABC and ESPN merged into a cross-promotional giant.

Jamie Foxx showed up in the booth to say Cruise “is the most genuine person,” based on his countless hours of research and experience in the field of interpersonal relationships.

This vote of confidence no doubt should aid Foxx’s return as the cabbie if Dan Snyder elects to bankroll “Collateral, Part Deux,” in which Cruise’s character plays a raving lunatic bent on escaping from a small mill town in Pennsylvania.

Cruise’s character shoots Craig T. Nelson’s character in the final scene and says, “Show me the scholarship.”

To which Nelson’s character says, “You want the scholarship. You can’t handle the scholarship.”

This act of cinematic genius still resonates today, and Oscars should have been awarded to both parties.

It was unfortunate that Cruise’s first outing with the Redskins ended on a disappointing note.

Yet there was cause for optimism.

Cruise and Holmes, in the requisite dark shades to ward off the 95-degree sun, showed up on the field before the game to inspect the work of the groundskeepers.

Cruise did not reveal what he learned on his fact-finding mission, but you can be certain it was passed along to the appropriate parties.

Cruise was unable to will John Hall’s potential game-tying field goal through the uprights, as he undoubtedly would have been able to do with a good screenwriter and Steven Spielberg.

But no one should hold Cruise accountable for this loss, just as no one should be trying to deconstruct the tome-like playbook of Al Saunders.

It is only one game, and perhaps Cruise will remember to pack his pompoms next time and Saunders will have an urge to delve deeper into his playbook.

We can expect adjustments, for adjustments are part of the game.

Dallas is next on a short work week.

It is a huge, huge game with serious playoff implications, given the upside-down nature of the NFC East: the Eagles 1-0, the Giants, Cowboys and Redskins 0-1.

It is highly difficult to recover from an 0-2 start, if it comes to that for the Redskins.

But stay strong. There is only one NFL team with Cruise on its side.

As Joe Gibbs and the players often point out, the Redskins have the greatest fans in the world, plus Cruise now.